Friends?

Many things in my life have made a huge impact on who I am today. Some good, some bad. Some I could have controlled, some that were out of my control. Some I was glad happened, and some that I wish I could change.

In high school and for a few years after I had some wonderful friends, lots of different people that I cherished for one reason or another. Lately I have began to notice, outside of my family, I really only had 5 friends. They are the people I talk to the most and the ones that know why I don't have any more friends then them. All this will change though. I hope.

I'm in the process of "redeeming" myself if you will. When I started getting depressed I started to seclude everyone. Unless you knew me well enough and wasn't afraid to stand up to me and tell me to quit being such a bitch. Hence why I only have 5 friends. So now that I'm on some kick butt medication ((shout out to Celexa for kicking my butt back into my old smiling self!)) I'm going to fix this problem. 

For example, one of my friends since high school has been feeling like I didn't want to talk to her or hang out with her, mostly because I didn't pick up the phone and call. Also because I let it be known that I hated her husband. That being said, I love her to death and I love her son to death- I can bite my tongue if that's what I need to do to keep her and her son in my life. 

Yesterday I hung out with an old friend that maybe can again become a friend that I can trust and love as I once did. I have also known her since high school and she also has a cutie pututie little girl. I don't recall exactly why I shunned her away from my life but again- I was depressed and didn't really feel at the time I needed a reason- I was feeling lonely and wanted to be left alone to hide in that.

Now by no means am I saying that I will once again be friends with everyone that  I once was- but baby steps is more progress than none.

Some of those people got pushed out for valid reasons, not simply because I was a heartless bitch.